Wednesday 25 September 2019

the collection: pt. i


tag, you're it

it started out as a silly game of tag and now, you're it

why did we play catch with something so fragile - a heart of paper and bones of glass? why did we pretend we could run carefree through fields of shattered dreams and empty promises?

the candle is burning too low now; it's time to blow it out. even as the last wisps of smoke disappear, i close my eyes and see the flame that burned so brightly, wishing it was real and wishing it wasn't


where are you from?

where are you from? were the first words i said to you. And you replied, but your answer was wrong

you're from a lonely planet, in a galaxy far away - where beating hearts freeze over with hate and fear // where tears burn like acid down your face // where hungry hands learn to be content grasping air

---

so why'd you lie? were you afraid? maybe you were hiding something from me, from the world

come, let me hold you in the palm of my hand // let me look into your liquid eyes and drink every drop of your sorrow // let me draw you close and keep you warm by the fire burning in my chest

i'll ask you again, "where are you from?"
and this time, i'll add "would you stay?"

Monday 11 March 2019

book recommendations: pt. ii

i haven't had much time to read recently which is a major bummer, but that's okay! in the meantime, let's go through some more of my top book picks of all time



if you're looking for a quick (and i mean quick) read, try the dog who dared to dream. it took me a couple of days to finish the book but i'm sure it's possible to go though it within a day! originally written in korean by sun-mi hwang, the book strikes an interesting balance between adult and children's fiction. honestly, i was pretty reluctant to begin reading. i mean, it's an animal story - it's either going to be extremely kiddish or painfully saccharine like some kind of parable of modern, human life. but i was wrong. instead, sun-mi told a simple yet beautiful story of life. even though the sentence structures and word choices were a little on the simpler side (this could possibly be because of the translation), the themes in this story were pretty deep, covering topics like betrayal and sacrifice

all in all, a lovely, well-paced novel about the trials and joys of life from a unique perspective. i give it a 3/5


if you're looking for something more mentally and emotionally engaging, try everything i never told you. i've read this book twice and both times, author celeste ng completely blew my mind. there were so many things i loved about this thrilling masterpiece: the plot, the character development, the structure, the writing style, the list goes on and on! the story begins just like any other psychological thriller: a child suddenly goes missing in a quiet town, and the lee family is in the middle of it all. with every page, you'll discover the painful intricacies of racial fissures, the crushing impact of an identity crisis, and the haunting weight of family secrets

apparently, ng took about 6 years to complete this book and i must say, all her hard work has paid off! a resounding 5/5 from me :)


if you are looking for a feel-good novel, i suggest you read the rosie project by graeme simsion. simply put, don is on a hunt for a wife, an endeavor also known as the wife project. his approach to love is a little different: it's logical, scientific, and involves a specially curated questionnaire?? then along comes rosie, a character who easily flunks don's questionnaire, but she's on a different mission: the father project, a quest to find her biological father. don offers his expertise as a genetics professor and the two embark on a whirlwind of a journey where don ultimately learns that love may not always be what looks good on paper

the rosie project was one of the few books i actually laughed out loud reading. it's warm and casual, a perfect reminder to always see the funny side of human behavior. final verdict: 4/5

so, there you go, some of my favorite reads! do let me know which you've read and which you'd love to read :)

Friday 22 February 2019

how to: make your dreams come true

do you have a bucket list? is there even a point in having a bucket list?

i've always thought bucket lists were kind of pointless; they felt too whimsical and wishy-washy. instead, i chose to focus on creating practical and systematic to-do lists, lists you could plow through in just a couple days. year after year, i would look over my to-do list and feel accomplished... yet somehow unfulfilled. i was happy but the happiness only lasted until i turned the page and scribbled "to-do (cont)" across the top yet again

then i turned twenty-one and graduated from university

finally, i was ready to become an adult

finally, i was ready to join the workforce

finally, i was ready to move on to bigger, better lists

but, staring at the blank canvas before me, something inside me shifted

i couldn't write anything on my to-do list, i didn't know where to start

my to-do lists were simple and targeted - the perfect short term plan. but when faced with a world full of choices, i was at lost. i yearned for the comfort of quick, achievable goals but i knew i was limiting myself. i've spent twenty-one years of my life deciding what i should and shouldn't be good at, what i could and couldn't enjoy. at the end of it all, i knew what i could do, but i didn't know what i wanted to do, what i would rather do with my life

and so, i decided i needed to swap out my to-do list for a bucket list, a list that scared me just as much as it excited me. here's how i plan to make these dreams come true


number 1. talk about it

have many, many conversations with different people about your dreams. i find that these intentional conversations help clear my mind and open my eyes. talk about yourself, share your dreams, discuss your ideal life with the people around you and you just might be amazed by the feedback you get. some will wholeheartedly support every whimsical fancy you mention; good, try and adopt that wide-eyed wonder and excitement. others might be more straightforward, highlighting the flaws and issues they perceive; great, note them down and see if you're willing to and how you can overcome them. dreams aren't concrete, they change and some don't even stay on the list. and that's okay, it makes your dream is uniquely yours

talking about your dreams also just might help keep you accountable. last month, you casually mentioned you wanted to begin recording your own music to a friend. when you meet up again, she asks about it and you say you've been putting it off or that you're starting to dislike the music you make. she laughs and tells you to stop being ridiculous. she reminds you of the songs you've been wanting to cover, the instruments you thought of using, the genres you want to explore. and you are once again inspired to run after that dream. so talk about your dreams, every random detail, no matter how silly it may sound. get people around you excited so that they can, in turn, motivate you. remember though, at the end of the day, your dream is yours. you decide how hard you're going to work for it and how far you're willing to go. but it definitely won't hurt to talk about it and create a support system of genuinely interested people in the meantime :)

number 2. invest in it

invest your time: research about it // read up on the industry // dive into the nitty-gritty // decide the best way to start // need equipment? source for them, compare prices, go to the store, test them out // find out the style or approach that works best for you // configure your set up // look for role models // draw out what your schedule would look like if you commit to this // create a vision board, something that will help visualize what you have in mind // look for inspiration around you

invest your money (if applicable): budget for it // see how this endeavor might affect you financially // make calculated and careful purchases, get only what you need // consider borrowing or secondhand options // start a savings plan and stick to it

invest yourself: seek out like-minded individuals // practice your skill, keep improving // actively think about how you can make this work // learn the lingo // get comments or feedback from people within the industry // familiarize yourself with the software or hardware // find your niche // allow yourself to be excited

be as prepared as you can but don't stress out to much about it. understand that this journey is just as important as achieving the dream itself. this process will shape your perspective and give you the exposure you need to get started. if halfway through this stage, you really don't see this working out, that's fine. take a breather and congratulate yourself. at least you tried!

number 3. go and do it

it's as straightforward as it sounds. you'll never be 100% ready or prepared, so take that leap as soon as you can. don't overthink or get consumed with making it "perfect." suck it up and do it. keep your support system (if you have one) updated and take note of how you feel. do you feel excited? anxious? regret? internalize these feelings and assess them. if possible, wait it out, it might get better, maybe you're just not used to it... if it really doesn't sit right, that's ok. you're allowed to move on. at least you tried!

before you know it, you've already begun taking steps toward your dreams and are closer than ever to striking it off your bucket list. we're all always inspired to write down our wildest dreams and craziest goals, but more often than not, these dreams are left on paper and never come to life

so take charge and ask yourself,


and the rest is history