how to: 21

this post is about how to get ready to be 21. it's not how to glam up for your 21st birthday bash or how to plan your big 21st night out. it's more like how to be your best and beautiful 21-year-old self

21 is a huge milestone age. you're an adult now; it's official. and you can't help but feel it's now or never... but before you dive headfirst into that bucketful of dreams, take some time to process things. i mean, you've only just turned 21, your whole life is ahead of you. what's the rush?

number 1. take some time off

it could be just a weekend hideaway at home or camping out in a cool, hipster-y cafe for an afternoon. anywhere you can chill and be alone with your thoughts. grab a journal and a pen, throw on something comfy, and let yourself drift. don't think, drift. just revel in the idea of being 21, acknowledge the responsibilities but see the opportunities, the stars and how much closer they are now. then turn around and see how far you've come. be proud, you did amazing

number 2. do something you like

even if it's just one little thing. read a whole book or finish up that sketch or ransack your pantry and make something sweet. stay away from screens because they seem to have this power that makes time pass wayy too quickly for you to enjoy yourself... try to finish the task. give yourself enough time but don't beat yourself up if you take longer than expected. you're barely 21 and you've got plenty of time to work on that. so, put on your favorite song and enjoy your date with you

number 3. do something you don't know if you like

do something you've never tried before; not something stressful or with long-term implications, just something fun and casual. haven't gone for a full-body massage before? book a session now! not sure about roller coasters? if not now, then when? kick off your 21st year with some sense of adventure and a zest for life


number 4. pamper yourself

you went through 21 years of life, you've experienced ups and the downs, you've clung on to dreams and somehow made them work, and you've choked back brave tears when they didn't. you did all that and learned so much. you deserve a pamper session: a time all about you. do something you are comfortable with, something to give you a confidence boost. it could be a manicure/pedicure or a fine dining experience with your closest friends. enjoy!


number 5. treat yourself

create a lasting memory of this special moment by buying something for yourself; something you've always wanted, something you finally dare to get. it's a birthday gift from you to you. it could be that perfume, pair of shoes, or makeup palette that you've been dying to try. every time you use that product, smile and remember how far you've come


number 6. life plan

i'm not talking about long term decisions like college, marriage, or owning a cat, but what you can do to make this coming year your best year yet. think of all the little ways you want your 21st year to be different. do you want to be a to be fitter? would you like to be able to play another instrument or speak another language? what skill do you want to master this year? focus on what you can do for you, what future you would thank younger you for. you are the best thing you can invest in. take it slow: month by month, week by week, even day by day. before you know it, it's become part of the new you

just little disclaimer: this is written much like a letter to my younger self so it might not resonate with everyone but i hope you enjoyed it nonetheless

review: death of a bachelor

it's ridiculous how much i currently like this song...

but i do

the music style is amazing... it's a mish-mash of every random thing: it's slightly jazzy (instrumentals in the verse), a little pop-y (chorus), somewhat techno-ish (interlude) and a touch R&B (the bass line has me swooning)? i'm not a professional song analyser-deconstructor person, neither do i claim to be a diehard P!ATD fan but yeah

the lyrics, i'm not so much a huge fan of. it's got a couple metaphorical lines (which is always fun) like: "death of a bachelor," "watching the sky fall," and my favorite, "the lace in your dress tangles my neck" but he transitions between pov's and jumps around on the timeline. meaning, the song isn't chronologically arranged... i pay quite a bit of attention to song lyrics so if it's jumbled, i tend to get distracted. it could be just me because i don't follow the singer and i'm not aware of his life happenings during song composition but i don't know. examples:

he's fast approaching married life and suddenly he's "alone at a table for two..." my best guess is that he's reminiscing the older times when he would go on date with other girls?

also, for most of the song, he seems to be singing to his wife ("the lace in your dress") then out of nowhere, he's asking someone to "smile even though you're sad..." I believe he's addressing his old bachelor self who's sad because he's leaving the life of singleness behind which is kind of a super interesting emotion to describe, tbh

but he used the phrase "playing hooky" so i'll give him a plus point for that :)

i must say though, the tempo is perfect. it fits the mood of the song amazingly and is awesome for slow, soulful waltzes around the room or just grooving to by yourself in the car

the vibes are my favourite part of the whole thing. the rewind-y sound in the intro gives me an "old-school" feel for some reason while the techno interlude part does great at hyping up the song. throw in the Sinatra-esque vocals and bam - death of a bachelor

the lyrics:

do i look lonely?
i see the shadows on my face
people have told me i don't look the same
maybe i lost weight
i'm playing hooky
with the best of the best
put my heart on my chest (pull my heart out my chest) i can't figure out which it is
so that you can see it, too

i'm walking the long road
watching the sky fall
the lace in your dress tangles my neck
how do i live?

the death of a bachelor
oh oh oh
letting the water fall
the death of a bachelor
oh oh oh
seems so fitting for
happily ever after, woo
how could i ask for more?
a lifetime of laughter
at the expense of the death of a bachelor

i'm cutting my mind off
feels like my heart is going to burst
alone at a table for two and i just wanna be served
and when you think of me
am i the best you've ever had?
share one more drink with me
smile even though you're sad

i'm walking the long road
watching the sky fall
the lace in your dress tangles my neck
how do i live?

the death of a bachelor
oh oh oh
letting the water fall
the death of a bachelor
oh oh oh
seems so fitting for
happily ever after, woo
how could i ask for more?
a lifetime of laughter
at the expense of the death of a bachelor

here's the music video which is just brendon hanging out in an empty ballroom
and here's dodie's amazing jazzy cover because duh

thanks for reading!

just changes or new beginnings?

hey hey

it's been a while since i've been on here... it feels weirdly nostalgic :)

okay so, it's been a time of a lot of revamps and changes lately: growing to love things i used to dislike, moving on from old things, transitioning from full-time school to full-time work, completely decluttering my room, and filling up the wardrobe with clothes that i actually like...

life is great, life is fun, and life is scary

i want to do so many things: i want to perform, i want to write, i want to direct/produce something, i want to learn new skills, i want to figure out what i am truly good at, i want to find my calling, but these things just mash together in my head and fizzes out

at the end of the day, i'm left behind by my own thoughts, feeling a strange sense of urgency building up in my chest... is it too late? did i miss my big break? but am i ready? is this even what i want?

i guess the question is: do i want it or do i just want to want it? like are these things just little accomplishments that will add to the whole that is my life or am i going to give it my 100% and make something out of it? must i decided?

that wasn't a very good summing up of things but it'll have to do

for now...